I learned to read your silence

[Verse 1]

I learned to read your silence
Before I learned your words
I knew which parts to hide away
And which ones you preferred

I thought if I worked harder
Maybe you’d look my way
Maybe I’d finally hear you say
“I’m proud of you today”

So I swallowed every question
And tried to do things right
If I could just be better
Maybe we’d stop fighting

I was only trying to be
The kid you wanted me to be
I didn’t know that loving you
Wasn’t supposed to cost me me

[Chorus]

How much of me is enough for you?
How much do I have to prove?
I keep bending till I break
Just to fit the shape you choose

And every time you say I’m wrong
I wonder what I’m doing wrong
If I’m everything you wanted
Why don’t I feel like I belong?

[Verse 2]

Now I’m old enough to notice
The things I couldn’t see
You don’t ask me who I’m becoming
You ask what I can be

You measure me in numbers
In grades and what I’ve done
Like every little failure
Means I’ve let you down again

And when I need somebody
You give me expectations
When I need you to hear me
You give me explanations

You call it being honest
You call it making me strong
But somewhere along the way
I stopped knowing where I belong

I finally see the pattern
And I hate what I’ve found
You don’t need me to be happy
You need something to be proud of

[Chorus]

How much of me is enough for you?
How much do I have to prove?
I’ve spent years trying to become
Someone you could finally choose

And every time you say I’m wrong
I hear that little kid hold on
Still waiting for her father
To tell her she was never wrong

[Bridge]

Maybe I was never broken
Maybe I was never weak
Maybe all those things you called my flaws
Were just things you couldn’t see

I’m not a grade
I’m not a trophy
I’m not a story you can tell
I’m not the person you can mold
So you can say you raised me well

And I don’t need your approval
To know that I am enough
I’m still learning who I am
And maybe that’s more than enough

[Chorus]

I don’t have to be enough for you
I don’t have to prove a thing
I’m done chasing after approval
For a love with hidden strings

You can keep your expectations
You can keep the voice that says
“You’ll never be good enough”
I’ve heard it in my head for years

But I’m not that little kid now
And I’m finally breaking through
I’m becoming someone I can love
Even if I’m not someone you choose

I don’t have to be enough for you
I just have to be enough for me.