Wallets In The Air

(Verse 1) I went to buy a goldfish at the Petco in the mall, The teenager at the counter stood six-foot-seven tall. He said, "Ma’am, to take this bubble-eye, I’m gonna need to see, A government-issued photo of your true identity." I pulled out my license, he gave it a scan, I bought a bag of kibble and a ceiling fan. I used it for a library book, I used it for a rake, I used it to prove I’m the one who ordered the steak. (Laughter) Imagine that! A steak! (Verse 2) But back in D.C., where the marble is white, The Senators are havin' a terrible fright! A Congressman stands with a tear in his eye, Looking at the camera, startin' to cry: "These poor, helpless voters! They’re lost in the fog! They can’t find a wallet! They can’t find a log! To ask for an ID is a cruel, twisted joke, It’s a burden so heavy it’ll make ‘em all broke!" (Deep belly laugh) He thinks I’m a ghost! Boo! (Chorus) Oh, the House is a circus and the Senate is a clown, Tellin' eighty-three percent of us to just pipe down! They say, "Don’t you worry, we’re savin' your soul, By keepin' that scary ID from the poll!" They’re protectin' me from... well, me and my purse, Like a plastic card is a multi-generational curse. Yeah, eighty-three percent are lookin' at the Hill, While they’re sabotaging every common-sense bill! (Ha-ha!) They’re 'protectin' me' from my own pocket! (Verse 3) I need a Real ID to get a job at the school, I need it to sign up for the community pool. I need it for a hotel, I need it for a flight, I need it to enter a bar on a Saturday night. But the "Representative" says, "Stay in your place! You’re too 'disadvantaged' to have a photo of your face!" He’s blockin' the vote while he’s takin' a check, From a lobbyist holdin' a card... wait a sec! (Laughs) He checked HIS ID to get into the building! (Outro) So keep your "suppression" and your high-falutin' lines, While eighty-three percent of us are readin' the signs. You ain't representin' the folks on this street, You’re just hopin' we’re too "helpless" to find our own feet. I’ll see you at the booth—if I can find my way, Through the "insurmountable burden" of the light of day! (Big finish with a slide guitar) Ha-ha-ha! See ya there, Senator!