Crime-friendly Pharmacy

[Verse 1]
I’m Dave, just grabbing toothpaste at the corner store,
Got my ten bucks ready, like I’ve done before.
Line’s long, some guy’s got a trash bag, stuffed to the brim,
He’s sweeping shelves bare, and no one’s stopping him.
Cashier just shrugs, says, “Policy, can’t interfere,”
I’m standing here like, “What the hell’s happening here?”

(sigh) Alright, guess I’m the idiot for paying.

[Chorus]
Steal away, steal away, take what you please,
Trash bag jackpot, no one’s on their knees.
Smile and swipe, it’s the crime-friendly way,
Honest folks like me just overpay.

[Verse 2]
I ask the cashier, “Where’s security at?”
She points to a guy eating chips out back.
He waves, says, “Break time, can’t ruin my vibe,”
While trash-bag man’s looting half the hygiene aisle.
There’s a sign by the door, “We’re a judgment-free zone,”
Guess that means steal shampoo, no one’s gonna moan.

(spoken) And that’s when I knew we were doomed.

[Chorus]
Steal away, steal away, take what you please,
Trash bag jackpot, no one’s on their knees.
Smile and swipe, it’s the crime-friendly way,
Honest folks like me just overpay.

[Bridge]
Now trash-bag man’s got a cart, he’s building a fort,
Cashier’s filming TikToks, calling it “street sport.”
I’m just tryna buy Crest, but I’m the bad guy,
For wanting a store that doesn’t let this fly.

[Chorus]
Steal away, steal away, take what you please,
Trash bag jackpot, no one’s on their knees.
Smile and swipe, it’s the crime-friendly way,
Honest folks like me just fuckin’ overpay.

[Outro]
I paid my ten bucks, walked out feeling beat,
Next time, maybe I’ll just steal my damn toothpaste.