Aisle Three Bandit

[Verse 1]
Virginia's most wanted has four little paws
Doesn't care about your liquor laws
Smashed a bottle on the tile floor
Then licked it up and looked around for more

[Chorus]
Just a drunk raccoon on aisle three
Making fuzzy, bad-news history

[Verse 2]
The manager watched the camera feed
Couldn't believe the chaotic deed
Found him passed out, face down by the loo
And laughed so hard 'til the morning dew

[Bridge]
He woke up with a pounding in his head
They sent him running to the woods instead
Hiding his face in the tall green grass

[Outro]
A furry tale with a simple moral
Don't be the star of a drunken quarrel