Alberta Tax Haven Blues

[Verse 1]
Step right up—Alberta’s on the block,
Oil in the ground and a taxman at the lock.
“Trade your maple leaf,” says Sam, with a suitcase and a grin,
“For a dollar and a deal—just read the fine print before you sign!”
No statehood promised, no senators in sight,
A territory can talk, but can’t vote on the night.

[Chorus]
Alberta Tax Haven, what a bargain, what a steal,
Red, white, blue dollars for your next big meal.
No equalization, no carbon-tax refrain—
Just a different boss when the bills come due again.

[Verse 2]
Ottawa says, “You’ve got MPs; you’ve got your seats.”
“We’ve heard that line,” Alberta says, “but who decides the beats?”
Washington says, “Welcome! Your delegate can speak—
But when Congress takes the vote, you can’t get what you seek.”
Fifty states for trading, Rockies at the gate,
Maybe you’ll be a state someday—or maybe just… a territory.

[Bridge]
Some want two stars and senators; some say, “Don’t rock the boat.”
The moose puts on a cowboy hat and asks Sam for a vote.
“Where’s my senator?” “Son, you’ve got none.”
“Then Ottawa’s not listening?” “Welcome—you’re one of us, hon.”

[Outro]
No guarantee of riches, no guarantee of state—
And all sales are final. The moose asks, “Who do I call in Ottawa?”