Drunk Dialing Kid Wisdom

[Verse 1]
Hey babe, it’s me, at 2am, I’m trashed,
Slurrin’ love advice from kids, yeah, I’m that smashed.
Craig, age 9, says on a bad date, play dead,
So I’m lyin’ on the couch, ghostin’ texts you read.
Pam, age 7, told me, “Kiss if they’re rich,”
I’m broke, but I’m puckered, help me flip this switch!

[Chorus]
Kids got the tea, I’m drunk, take their lead,
“Tell her she’s pretty, even dump truck indeed!”
Ricky, age 10, savin’ my sloshed heart’s need,
Voicemailin’ kid wisdom, babe, don’t hit delete!

[Verse 2]
I’m cryin’ in my beer, quotin’ these tiny pros,
Craig says boys need cleaners, guess I’m why Tinder froze.
Pam’s like, “Girls stay single,” I’m beggin’ you to stay,
I’ll mop my own messes if you don’t ghost today.
Ricky’s got flattery down, I’m tryin’ his trick,
You’re gorgeous, babe, even if I’m sloppy and sick!

[Chorus]
Kids got the tea, I’m drunk, take their lead,
“Tell her she’s pretty, even dump truck indeed!”
Ricky, age 10, savin’ my sloshed heart’s need,
Voicemailin’ kid wisdom, babe, don’t hit delete!

[Bridge]
I’m sobbin’ on this call, but Craig’s got my back,
“Play dead ‘til she’s gone,” I’m fakin’ a heart attack.
Pam’s savage, Ricky’s smooth, I’m a mess, it’s true,
But babe, these kids know more ‘bout love than I do!

[Outro]
Wait, is this recordin’? Oh no, I’m a fool—
Babe, ignore this, I’m drunk… but kids rule!